We all have needs. Monetary, emotional, social or otherwise.
But we rarely express them freely.
Wants are easy to talk about, as they represent desires. The aspiration of getting our way and the feeling of control.
Needs, on the other hand, imply survival. The very minimum required of us to take action.
The open exposure of our needs makes us feel vulnerable, hence we often hide our needs behind our wants.
“I want to be rich and famous” represents our need to be liked socially, need to prove ourselves and gain status, and the need to attain a certain level of financial comfort.
“We want you to offer your best price” A common phrase used in negotiation often implies the need to feel respected and valued.
“I don’t want to talk to you” can often represent the need to be listened to or the need to satisfy one’s ego.
Once you can discover the needs of the other person, you can connect with them at a much deeper and meaningful level. You also have a lot more control over the outcome of the discussion.